I have such an amazing husband. He invited my parents (which includes 5 kids), my brother (which includes 4 kids) my grandma, and his mom to have dinner with us for my birthday with us and our 4 kids. Yep-20 some odd people. He went to a lot of trouble to fix my favorite meal (tacos) for everyone and had a wonderful gift in mind-but he found out about the lady too late so we will probably still have it done. She draws pictures from photographs and my hubby was going to get some pictures of me and my grandpa and have her draw us together in a picture in several different scenes. oh what an amazing surprise that would have been! I almost cried when he told me.
He is so thoughtful and so loving. I've never felt so loved and cherished as I do when he does things like this for me. No one I've ever been in a relationship with has ever treated me like I was important and special. I'm blown away by his love.
We had an issue with some of the invitees and only ended up with 2 people, but that's ok because I know who really loves me and cares about me.
My little Lexi went to the bookstore at our church when we were early one day apparently and bought me a new Bible. totally unexpected. My son got me a Caramello bar (which he'd been hanging on to for a month so i was proud of him for that) and my other youngest daughter gave me some lotion. My MIL got me some lotion, a MWS Worship DVD and gift card to LB (woot) and Grandma got me a Pampered Chef food chopper which we've been wanting! My friend Lindsay made me some Amish Friendship bread so we could have it for the party and she gave me a start. I was so excited-I've never had a recipe to do that with so it should be fun. I'll have to start making the end of the year teacher gifts ;) haha.
My oldest had prom this weekend with her boyfriend (well she called him that tonight...first we knew it was official haha) and my little sister came and helped do her hair and makeup. She looked absolutely beautiful and said a lot of the guys commented that to her boyfriend so it made her feel good to make him look/feel good too.
It's just been an awesome day. I've had some thoughts brewing in my mind for a few days but I'm not quite ready to put them down on 'paper'. I'm just feeling amazing and loved today and want to keep it that way...
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
When The Rain Comes
I might be behind the times, I am just hearing this song for the first time tonight but I was really impressed with the lyrics. I've been a Third Day fan forever so I am ashamed to admit not hearing this before now, but I know I need it and probably some others do too. I added the song so feel free to read along while it plays!
When the rain comes it seems that everyone has gone away
When the night falls you wonder if you shouldn't find someplace
To run and hide
Escape the pain
But hiding's such a lonely thing to do
I can't stop the rain
From falling down on you again
I can't stop the rain
But I will hold you 'til it goes away
When the rain comes you blame it on the things that you have done
When the storm fades you know that rain must fall on everyone
Rest awhile
it'll be alright
No one loves you like I do
When the rain comesI will hold you
Short but oh so sweet. I think my favorite lines are I can't stop the rain from falling down on you again. God never promised we would never have rain or pain or trials in this earthly life. He promised to never leave us. Sometimes in my human mind and understanding, that just isn't enough and yet when I really think about what it means that HE will never leave me...I'm in awe. My heart is really full tonight-I'm trying to be better, get better...believe that I am better than what I tell myself I am. Last summer I was doing a devotional (Girlfriends in God if you want to check it out-I highly recommend) and the writer of the particular devotion said something that I need to remember everyday: "When we assassinate our own character with words, we destroy our self-esteem and stop ourselves from purposeful living; we become who we say we are." I wrote it down because I knew it was powerful and something I needed to remember. Everyday I fight the voices in my head-they aren't all mine. Voices from the past still cause me pain "you are ugly" "miss piggy" "you need to diet" "if you eat that you are going to look like ______ (fill in the blank). Twenty some odd years later and I'm still hearing those words. Getting dressed every morning hurts me because even though it's a cute shirt, I hear "oh look how stupid you look with that fat muffin top".
I have fought many battles in my life, but the battle of self-confidence is one I have yet to even manage much less win.
When I talked to a friend about this, she said I needed to remember my identity is in Christ, not my weight. My hubby says no one cares about my weight as much as I do. He is probably right in so many ways...so why can't I let it go and just learn to love myself?
I just have to fall back on Him. Let him be my strength and confidence.
I have striven to make everyone around me happy but I don't know how to be happy with me. It's a very frustrating thing to fear walking into a store alone. I feel so stupid for being afraid and then the whole cycle just keeps on the ugly path until I feel so insignificant why did I think I could walk in this store.
I watch women who seem to have so much confidence and I pick out every little thing I can see in 30 seconds as to why they are better than me and deserve that confidence.
I'm tired of 'assassinating my character' and I'm working on not doing it anymore...it's time to build myself up and think of myself as a dear friend that deserves better from me than what I've been giving her.
When the rain comes it seems that everyone has gone away
When the night falls you wonder if you shouldn't find someplace
To run and hide
Escape the pain
But hiding's such a lonely thing to do
I can't stop the rain
From falling down on you again
I can't stop the rain
But I will hold you 'til it goes away
When the rain comes you blame it on the things that you have done
When the storm fades you know that rain must fall on everyone
Rest awhile
it'll be alright
No one loves you like I do
When the rain comesI will hold you
Short but oh so sweet. I think my favorite lines are I can't stop the rain from falling down on you again. God never promised we would never have rain or pain or trials in this earthly life. He promised to never leave us. Sometimes in my human mind and understanding, that just isn't enough and yet when I really think about what it means that HE will never leave me...I'm in awe. My heart is really full tonight-I'm trying to be better, get better...believe that I am better than what I tell myself I am. Last summer I was doing a devotional (Girlfriends in God if you want to check it out-I highly recommend) and the writer of the particular devotion said something that I need to remember everyday: "When we assassinate our own character with words, we destroy our self-esteem and stop ourselves from purposeful living; we become who we say we are." I wrote it down because I knew it was powerful and something I needed to remember. Everyday I fight the voices in my head-they aren't all mine. Voices from the past still cause me pain "you are ugly" "miss piggy" "you need to diet" "if you eat that you are going to look like ______ (fill in the blank). Twenty some odd years later and I'm still hearing those words. Getting dressed every morning hurts me because even though it's a cute shirt, I hear "oh look how stupid you look with that fat muffin top".
I have fought many battles in my life, but the battle of self-confidence is one I have yet to even manage much less win.
When I talked to a friend about this, she said I needed to remember my identity is in Christ, not my weight. My hubby says no one cares about my weight as much as I do. He is probably right in so many ways...so why can't I let it go and just learn to love myself?
I just have to fall back on Him. Let him be my strength and confidence.
I have striven to make everyone around me happy but I don't know how to be happy with me. It's a very frustrating thing to fear walking into a store alone. I feel so stupid for being afraid and then the whole cycle just keeps on the ugly path until I feel so insignificant why did I think I could walk in this store.
I watch women who seem to have so much confidence and I pick out every little thing I can see in 30 seconds as to why they are better than me and deserve that confidence.
I'm tired of 'assassinating my character' and I'm working on not doing it anymore...it's time to build myself up and think of myself as a dear friend that deserves better from me than what I've been giving her.
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