amazing things in life

i find that i am fighting myself in one area and growing in the others...my life is so blessed that when you look at the grand scheme of things the ratio isn't so bad right?

The other day I got an e-mail from my amazing cousin and friend Rachael. She is amazing to me because she is a great person, wonderful mother and a breast cancer warrior. Anyways, I get an e-mail from her and it said Book in the subject line. We are both pretty avid readers of Christian fiction so I was just expecting her to send me the title of a new book to read and it wasn't. She had a great idea for the two of us to write a book together. WOW, an amazing idea. I had some ideas, she had some ideas and we just went with it in an afternoon of e-mails back and forth...and outlined the idea of it. I will write chapter 1 and she'll write chapter 2 and so on. We may not do anything with it but i've always like writing, i love reading and she does too so why not? It will give her something to do while she is laid up in bed after her surgery next month and something for me to do that expands my self-imposed limited horizons.

I usually hate change and being pushed. Hubby commented the other day how much I've changed willingly going to networking events without having a nervous breakdown the day of. It's to put food on the table right? ummm well ok, it's kind of fun too. :) So I guess I'm happy that opportunities are presenting themselves since I would not have the guts to go after them without being prodded a bit...

I have to give credit where credit is due, my hubby is so amazingly patient with me in my insecurities. I've posed a hundred questions that started with Honey, if.... or Honey, what if... or Honey, why do guys....? and he patiently explains, kisses away the fears/insecurities, and puts up with me in general. I love him so much! He's so good to me.

When I think about my husband and my kids and how much they love me and how much I love them, I am awestruck that God loves me even more. He has always loved me, always wanted the best for me. I am sad sometimes to think about how many wonderful opportunities He has presented to me and I missed them because I was afraid to step out of my comfort zone. :( I'm sure that every day I fail to meet the expectations I have for myself because I think they are what He wants me to do. I know that I could talk to Him more, read more of His word daily, worship Him more...those are things I do with my husband because I love and honor him, why wouldn't I give God as much or more? He has richly blessed me and I will serve Him everyday that I live...I owe Him so much more.

I know I've just kind of rambled here but my thoughts keep coming back to one theme and I don't want to miss it...God deserves more of me than I've been giving Him. Thank you Father for all you have given me and blessed me with...