of joy, peace, love, contentment, satisfaction...the list goes on. Life has a way of making you stand still and reassess where you are and where you need to be.
I never dreamed life could be like this; I need order, I need to know where the next paycheck is going to come from and when, I need to know what my plans are for next week because I just do. That's how I function and yet I am here waiting to get to the next step of fixing our house so we can move in. The job I wanted didn't work out, so what? Did I really say that? Yep. The house is ours now, it will still be there next week and next month (whether we are living in it is another issue entirely) and it's ok that we aren't any further than we are.
What surprises me is that I'm really ok with it. Not forever obviously, but we are safe, have a roof over our heads, income coming in, healthy and happy kids, food on the table...and I have the one thing I thought would elude me forever, an amazing husband and friend. Someone who loves me in the good times AND the bad, who doesn't see the flaws and imperfections that I do when I look in the mirror. And that is why I can sit here not knowing what the future holds and be content.
The adult Sunday School class at our new church got put off a week because they'd had 2 funerals the 2 days before. Since I was there early with the kids, I sat and read my Bible. Some notes I had written in the margin of Nehemiah caught my eye from a great study I sat in under Mike Sasso of Calvary Chapel Boise (GREAT Wednesday night teacher btw!). I sat and read the first few chapters and thought about some of the things I have learned since then. I was in a fairly contemplative mood and then time for the sermon and guess what? We were in Nehemiah 1! I can change a lot of things in my life, but I can't change many things in LIFE...I will focus on what I can change (do I really need that 5th Oreo?) and let go of the things I can't (why do people make stupid, rash decisions about things that affect not only them, but everyone around them??).
Amber came to us the other night wanting to join a band with some kids at school. They would only practice 1 night a week and possibly play some gigs at the local coffee house. We discussed with her some pros and cons-my answer was no, because and stated my reasons: , Jeremey's was yes, as long as conditions had to be met. I will honestly say I was upset that he ok'd it. For one thing, in the 20 minutes she spent talking about this group of kids, she explained that she and both of the guys had discussed going out as an option but that they weren't and well, you've only been in school 3 weeks with these kids. Going out with a guy is/should be about more than the flavor of the week or because you are the new girl. But I also respect Jeremey as my husband and if he is ok with it then all I can do is pray she makes healthy decisions. She came to us last night and said that she thought about all the things I'd said and it made sense and she decided not to join the band. I have to say I was relieved that she gave all of our discussion some thought and not just what she wanted to hear which was yes. That does a mom's heart good let me tell ya.
Well I'm sitting here feeling loved and content, wanting for nothing because I have it all. I truly am blessed and so thankful for God's love poured out on us in all the different ways only He can do.
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