Thankful heart

Ok, I had started a blog and then deleted it and didn't realize it would keep the date so this was really written November 27th...lol

Yesterday (Thanksgiving) would have been my dear Grandpa's 84th birthday. He has been gone 14 years now and though the pain has slightly dimmed, not many days go by that I don't think about him or what he would think about these beautiful grandkids and great-grandkids that have been born in these 14 years that will never know what an awesome man he was. I wonder what he would have thought or said when he held his first great-granddaughter in his arms, how proud he would be of the spouses we've added to the family, and the lives we all live now.

But I AM thankful I knew him for 20 years and for the legacy he left behind. I know he prayed for us everyday and I am sad that he isn't around to give a hug or advice, but I know those prayers were heard and I am thankful for his love and example.

I am also thankful for my husband -life is busy and stressful but I couldn't have asked for a husband that loves me as much as Jeremey does. Ok, I asked God to give me one MANY times, but i didn't think it was meant to happen for me after awhile...I'm really thankful God takes better care of me and knows what I need even when I don't think I deserve it.

I am thankful for my kids. Having 3 girls between the ages of 12 and 17 should be a nightmare but it isn't. Oh, we have our moments, but I cannot complain about the love they share and friendship as sisters that they share. And a son. I had all but given up on having a boy-and I was having so much fun with a girl that I wouldn't' have known what I was missing, but he is a bright spot and can be quite the comic (he thinks). :)

I am thankful for beautiful nieces and a handsome nephew that are so smart and though they suffer some awful emotional pain, they have not forgotten how to love and still open their hearts to those that love them.

I am thankful for aunts who have been shoulders to cry on and encouragement when I was in need. They spoiled me and took me everywhere when they were in high school, invited me to stay with them, helped me learn how to dress and even curl my bangs correctly. 4 amazing aunts that I am honored to have in my life.

I am thankful for cousins. Growing up without a sister (4 of us) made us closer as friends. We have all had our moments (probably like some sisters can-but how would we know?) of pain or misunderstanding with each other (and a LOT of jealousy on my part) but there has also been a LOT of love and support. And we all had some pretty awesome brothers that have been cool playmates in the past and good uncles to our kids and friends with our husbands.

I am thankful for the painful and scary times in my life because I wouldn't appreciate my life now if I hadn't had to go through them.

And I am thankful for Jesus-willing to die for me when I was not worthy. I love the word wretch because that is what we are. Our righteousness is like filthy rags...we couldn't do it on our own. We could get hung up on the legalities of church and religion but none of that matters to me or is as important as my relationship with Jesus. And because He loves me and wants a relationship with me, I am more than grateful.