My beautiful cousin Rachael is going in for her bilateral mastectomy tomorrow, July 30th. She has been so strong and courageous through the last 6 months and I think all of the emotions people face when diagnosed are just now hitting her. I cannot imagine being in her shoes right now.
I know that when I had cancer I just wanted to feel good. I wanted answers, I wanted to know that everything was going to be ok and I could feel normal again. With my cancer there weren't any treatments before surgery, just operate then radiate. I think being radioactive was the worse than 2 surgeries but only because I couldn't be with Lexi for a week. I lost my voice but that cannot compare to what Rach will be losing. I am thankful that she has such an awesome husband and support system in North Carolina, that makes being 3000 miles away a little more tolerable. I am thankful she has medical insurance and great doctors taking care of her through this leg of her journey.
Lexi was about the same age as Caitlyn so I think I know how Rachael feels when she won't be able to hold Caity bug for awhile. But I wasn't praising God and trying to learn what He might have in store for me. I wanted people to feel sorry for me instead I heard "Oh, I'd kind of forgot you had cancer, I guess when it's not you, you don't keep track". I wanted to know why God felt it necessary for me to suffer through another major life event...wasn't all I'd been through up to this point enough? Why can't the people whose lives are perfect in every other way have something go wrong with them? Oh Rach, if I could take that back I would. What I went through was nothing compared to what you are going through and you have remained strong in your commitment.
I keep thinking about Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. You have totally exemplified this and been such an example to others. You know, I never heard that last part 'because he trusteth in thee', but what an awesome thought, just because we trust in God and our minds are focused on God, we will be kept in peace. wow.
You said you wished you could be here to help me fix up our house...I should be the one there helping you right now. You are so selfless with your time and give to everyone, it's time for you to be the focus now.
Tomorrow you will not be alone in that operating room with doctors and nurses, but Jesus will be there holding you the whole time. We are all praying and trusting you in His care.
You are loved Rachael Renea!
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