I missed you

Two full months since I've posted. wow. It's not that I don't have a lot on my mind...sometimes things will happen, a comment will be made, I read something, or have an epiphany and I think to myself, I need to blog about this. But then I don't.

So while I've had all this good 'stuff' to share, needs to be met, or just need that 'me' time, I put it off until later and then...well, nothing.

I think our spiritual walks can be like that. We are going through a situation here where I'm not happy with the direction it's going. I cannot write or preach the sermons that will speak to people. I can share what is on my heart though. I can use encouraging words to lift up someone else. But what about when it's me that needs encouragement? Where are the people that are supposed to be holding MY hand?

I'm already worn thin. I'm too tired to read the Bible, I don't know where to start...I want to go with a particular study-but I have to pick one...so many great teachers...the list goes on. Sometimes I think that if I don't study the Bible, then I let other things go as well (like blogging) because at some point, it registers that I need to make the Bible study time a priority, not an if-I-have-a-few-extra-minutes today thing. Then it's 9pm and I wonder what I've done all day. Nothing productive spiritually, didn't network-so nothing to help my business, never home in time to make dinner for my family...

I'm a planner. I have to plan everything way ahead of time. Spontaneity isn't really in my list of fun things to do. So I'm going to start May off right and plan in my study time, my networking, my business, my family and my ME time. Even if that's just 30 minutes on the Wii by myself...it's something right?

I found I can be my own worst enemy most days. I sit in front of a computer and I can read blog posts, sermons, study food/nutrition/weight loss etc., but I look up and hours have gone by and while reading someone else's amazing thoughts, I have lost the time I should have given myself.

I don't know if this makes sense, or if anyone even reads this anymore...but I have some work to do.