Gifts

In our Ladies Meeting tonight, Nikki did a little quiz with us to find our strengths. My top three were Music, Help/Service, and Administration. No big surprise there. I thought about the things I didn't score so well at, and part of me felt sad that I wasn't artistic/crafty, and I started to feel guilty about my lower score in Prophecy. And then I had to remind myself that I didn't score well in those areas, because those aren't the areas God chose to make me good in.
I need to be confident in the gifts he has given me and work to make my life a blessing to others with those gifts. I am always afraid. Insecure in my weaknesses. Is my weight problem a weakness, a symptom of another problem, laziness, lack of discipline? When I walk into a room, I feel like people will look at me and think "Oh, another one that can't push herself away from the table". I don't eat a lot, but I don't like to eat in public because I'm always so worried about what someone else is thinking about me and my food choices. It doesn't lead me to eating in secret (usually), but I want to be able to focus on my gifts, talents...whatever God has in store for me that day, not to focus on me.
My cousin told me this before and I was so hurt by it. She said that when I focus on me being shy, or wondering what other people think of me, it's a form of pride. When she said that, I thought to myself, "there is not an ounce of pride about myself in me". But a few years later, I can see what she was trying to tell me. I need to quit focusing on me. Give my worries, insecurities and fears to the One who made me, the One who says I am beautiful, the One who loves me regardless of my looks, weight, age, social status, and past. I just need to focus on being a child of the Most High, remember that I am Royalty, and give it up to Him.